Anyone remember how to diagram sentences?
I understand it isn't taught any more, as diagramming sentences has been labeled some misconstrued busy work idea of teaching how grammatical elements link to and modify each other.
When I was in school I found it fascinating ... and easy. So having learned it in sixth grade, when the 11th grade English teacher had us diagram, it was like a day off. Kind of a combo of crossword puzzle and Pictionary, and when we did it for speed, all the better. Day off, recreational diagramming.
Fast forward from 11th grade in high school, to freshman in college, taking a class in Biology, enamoured of the educational process, ready to soak in all that I could of Higher Learning at Penn State University.
Bio 101 with Professor O'Melia. I took the copious notes she projected on the screen, read the book, STUDIED the book, learned tons, took the first exam -- and got a "D".
Never before in my life had a got a "D" grade -- and not because I was in sports or my family had money. I just didn't. I knew my shit from the bottom up. I was a (God help me) serious student.
I was stunned sick by the grade.
When I got my copy of the test back, I looked at every question to see how I could have answered so wrongly so many times.
All my answers seemed right. That is, until I noticed some grammatical difficulties in the phrasing of one of the questions. Whipping out a pencil, I diagrammed the sentence.
ALMOST ALL THE QUESTIONS IN THE EXAM INCLUDED TRICKS OF GRAMMAR. If you assumed that the author of the exam was of average literacy, one answer was correct. If the questions were diagrammed, and you realized that the author was a grammar freak, the answer was entirely different.
That was 1972, the year that ended my repect for higher learning. If you want people to learn, and then test them to see what they have learned, you don't trick them. If you're stuck in the Biology Department instead of the English Department and hate seeing people learn, then get the fuck out of the business, or learn how to test for the Department that pays you.
The next test, while I still took the notes in class and read the text, I didn't worry about studying for the test itself. Instead, when I got the test, I just diagrammed every sentence and answered according to the question revealed. I got a "B."
Studying hard = "D".
Diagramming sentences = "B".
The last test before finals, I didn't read the text, didn't take the notes, just sat in class and then reviewed the notes from my 10th grade Bio class on genetics. And of course, diagrammed the sentences.
I aced it.
Aced a college Biology exam on the merit of being able to diagram sentences and have a 10th grade biology course in a backwater highschool in a town of 1000 people.
Higher learning, indeed.
2 comments:
I sucked at diagramming sentences, so more than likely would have failed every test.
I had an English Lit teacher once that added a bonus question to the end of every test. It always pertained to Auburn football in some way and it was worth a frigging 50% of the grade. I passed English that year by learning everything I could about Auburn's football team and couldn't tell you one damn thing about Middlemarch, The Mill on the Floss, or Silas Marner.
What I would give to see one of those tests. I never took biology, but I could analyze a sentence into submission, and I love a good puzzle. I wonder how I would have fared in the class.
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