The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - DVD Review

We didn't go to see this movie in the theater because we had been to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and so I accidentally ran over every pair of pants that I owned several times with the mower, drove nails into the tires of the car, and stole a backhoe to dig up the ends of the street so that no one could leave home for the duration of the film's exposure at the theater.

Still not good enough. My son-in-law rented it on Netflix, and invited the family to watch it as a group, because he had enjoyed it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, get a big glass of wine and a bowl of chips, and have a note taped to your wrist not to shout things at the screen -- yes, this was one of those times.

If you loved the first Hobbit movie, you might find room in your heart for this one. If you didn't like the first one, you'll hate this one even worse. For in this one, if there is a fight scene, there will be more beheading and stabbing and chopping than in 300. And if there is one fight scene, there will be so many you will not be able to count them. If there is a weapon of honor being packed by a dwarf, in this movie, there will be ten to fifteen, and even if they lose them -- in battle or incarceration -- they will reappear later with no explanation or diminishing in numbers. And elves will have the hots for elves, the hots for dwarves, and they will all be hot to insist they are not the least bit hot for anything in Middle Earth but being left alone to comb their hair and practice their archery.

As to the story ... if you've read Tolkien's The Hobbit, you'll wonder what the hell this movie is based on. And if you haven't, don't bother trying to make sense of this muddled mash by reading it. Bernie pointed out to me the next day that The Desolation of Smaug was just Hobbit fanfic. You know, I think he's right.

Martin Freeman is still cute as a bug as Bilbo, however, and he must have had a wonderful clause in his contract, to not appear in any completely stupid and disjointed scenes. Him I liked, and I wish that the producers had made a better film for him to star in.

Two thumbs down, as they say.

Cranky Friday

For a day in which I did little, it was a busy day.

To start the day, I went back to sleep after I woke up, hoping for a nice entertaining dream sequence. The after 6 am until 8 am dreams always seem to be vivid ones, but today was not the case. I dreamt that I was trying to fall asleep, which when it happens, is not only annoying but leaves me tired and cranky.

I fed the dogs and ate a meager breakfast of tomato juice and cottage cheese, preparing myself for the real breakfast of the day: popcorn and Coke. We drove out the road and got eggs, and then were pretty much ready to go see This Means War.

We watched the movie. The review will be on line Monday on the Piker Press, at which point I'll try to remember to link to it.

When we got home, Bernie opted to go to a local park with Alex, the dogs, and the girls (Mei-Mei, Elena, and Lil), while I stayed behind and worked on the cover image for Monday's Press. The picture on the left will be a small part of that illustration.

The Flickr Library of Congress and Smithsonian galleries are loaded with uncopyrighted material, and it was rather fun picking out pictures of people and messing with them in Photoshop. I say "rather" fun because no matter how much I promise myself that I'm going to play at artwork for no particular purpose, every piece of art I do is "for" something, and has no room for all-out disasters. And so until sundown, I worked.

I'm pleased with the finished illustration, and felt it was well worth the effort. 

Currently I'm still holed up in our room, because Lillian is watching some anime series on Netflix. Anime makes me want to heave, which I suppose makes me a kind of Philistine. I'd tell you how I really feel, but sometimes it is truly better for me to keep my mouth shut.

Tomorrow is more work on the Press, and church in the evening. Sunday is going to be for nuthin.'

Two Turtledoves

On the second day of Christmas, we had ice on the swimming pool again, after the weather reports said we'd be above freezing the last few nights. The birds had to wait until nearly noon for the birdbath to thaw out.

Also on the second day of Christmas, we went to the movies again, this time to see War Horse. We were just at the movies on Friday to see The Adventures of Tintin, I know, and we can't afford to go to the movies twice a week every week -- but I don't think anything cool is coming out this Friday. Both movies were good, but if you have only one movie fare to spend, see Tintin. War Horse review coming out next Monday in the Piker Press.

In writing news, I've caught up with myself in terms of continuity with my current novel (working title Loon and Donkey), and am now moving on with the story. My main characters, however, are very passionate about one another, and it's an ongoing battle with them not to just leap into a sex scene. I have settled on a final scene, more or less, or at least a final sequence. I'm looking forward to getting to the end and splurging on printing the creature out.